mY JaNuARY BaBiEs...

Lianne Genevie was born on January 3, 2002. Liandra (as we call her) is a super lambing daughter. She replicates a beautiful Ilocana, don't she? She dreams of becoming a teacher like me and a singer, too. Her name 'Lianne' was taken from the names of her two grandmas, JuLIANa and NEmia.. the Genevie was taken from St. Genevieve whose feast day falls on the 3rd day of January... 


Reanna Yzabelle was born on January 24, 2007. Yzai or Sabel (her most common names) can never be discounted at her young age. Her persistence on things she wants is very evident. I think she is fitted to be a CAT battalion commander in the future. Wanna know why? Her voice is like a thunder, especially when she roars! Her name 'Reanna' was taken from CesaREAN, giNA, and RENAN.. 'Yzabelle' is in honor of St. Elizabeth who has been my inspiration during those difficult times of pregnancy...

Soon, they won't be babies anymore but January Ladies.. they'll be smiling differently, pose better maybe, and for sure, they'd be more lovely, pretty and beautiful.. 

I'd give my bet!

(//_^)

cHRisTMaS bLESSinGz!

SOMETHING COLORFUL..

may mas makulay pa ba sa PASKO?

SOMETHING SMALL..

in Friendships, smaLL things couLD mean the whole worLD!

genuine haPPiness often comes from small yet significant giFTs..





SOMETHING LONG..

a friendship that doesn't last was never a friendship at all!

because, ONCE A FRIEND ALWAYS A FRIEND and it means FOREVER! 

After all, PERSONS are PRICELESS GIFTS from the HEAVENS!
Merry ChrisTmas!

bLiSs....

i didn't want this to end..

i've never felt so free like this..
for me, this is heaven on earth..

the clouds came down to hug me..
the cold breeze kissing my cheeks..
the countless raindrops are like blessings from the heavens..

this is love..
this is love making with mother nature..


no lies.. no limits.. no resentments.. pure happiness.. acceptance.. freedom!

i feel so safe in your arms..
your caress thrills my whole being..


your scent lingers in my memory..
your voice sounds like music to my ears..


your hug feels like heaven to my soul..
if only i could tell you how much you mean to me..


i long to feel your touch once more..
but only in my world of make-believe 
coz i know you'll never be mine..


nevertheless, just let me love you..
in silence..

S. I. N. FooL. N. E. S. S.

who doesn't want to be a winner? on top of everyone? oh c'mon, let us not be hypocrites. if we really belong to the human race, then we surely do! 

it was more than once mentioned that everyone is born good. if someone we know becomes bad or even we ourselves become bad, there are reasons why. each of us has a tendency towards sinfulness because of envy. animals as we are, we tend to be 'animalistic' in nature. say in school or in the workplace, we feel bad if our friends fail or stumble but the more we feel bad if they are way ahead of us. right?

we are all selfish. we are all arrogant. we are all boastful. we are all liars. we are all pretenders. we are all traitors. in short, WE ARE ALL BAD. but! but! but! at different levels or depths. we can never control our emotions because it pours both in our conscious and unconscious state. for me, it's not a sin but once it is put into words and actions, it's a different story.  

now, let me confess...

i am selfish. i always want the best. i feel so bad if my share is smaller than others. i'd rather want it fair or equal with the rest, atleast. or much much better if i had more of everything..

i am arrogant. i want to excel. i want others to see me shine. i want everyone to admire me. i want to show them what i know. i want them to listen to every word i say because what i say is always right..

i am boastful. i always have something to say just to level up myself.  i don't feel comfortable with people who assert themselves all the time. galit ako sa kapwa ko mayabang. others are nothing compared to me. i want to be a symbol of excellence..

i am a liar. i want everything to be easier. i want all issues to be ironed. i want to end all stories my way. i take all the chances to prove what is true to me. i don't care what's true. i am the truth..

i am a pretender. i choose what i want others to see. i choose what i want them to hear from me. i want to make a good impression. i am good in covering my flaws. i want to look perfect..

i am a traitor. i do favors if only i get a benefit out of it. i can sacrifice others but never myself. i can wait but only for a short time. when i say yes, i only mean maybe. i have no word of honor..

i am bad, really bad. whether i like it or not, this is my nature! fellow homo sapiens, AREN'T YOU?

WILL I GO TO HELL? of course not! 

because i know what's right and wrong.. because despite the many sinful emotions, words and actions can still be controlled.. because i am aware of my weaknesses and so, i can refresh my soul with a dose of faith.. because i believe in life after death and the glory of being with Him in heaven..

in every moment of our lives, we are to make a choice.. this or that? here or there? stay or leave? yes or no? heaven or hell? to sin or not to sin?

that's life. its a game. sometimes we loose. sometimes we win.if it's a point system, we'll know our score at the end of the finish line. let HIM be the tabulator. let LOVE be the criteria of our scores and let HEAVEN be the reward for the winners..

tO eRR is hUmaN, tO forGivE is unUsuaL.

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, good example; to your father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity. (A. Balfour)

ayayayayay...i'm too far to be a saint! (mahilangit lang ko, choks na!)

negative thinking and drama are addictive. believe me, it's true. enjoying the drama sometimes could be healthy as it exercises the emotions within us. (so long as we don't end up in jail or in the mental hospital). count me out!

now, think of anybody or somebody you 'unlove' the most. for us, they seemed to be the ugliest, grumpiest, and WTF creature ever! right? now, let's look at ourselves in the mirror. does it look like we need a face lift? a diamond peel? a surgery? or whatever your honor? ahem.. ahem.. ahem..

take note! do those persons whom we are nursing a grudge know that we are thinking about them? do we want them to know how much of our time is devoted to their 'fan club' in our minds? halla!

the only key? ForGivEneSs...(aray!) As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons- desiderata! if we cannot forgive, we are weak for only strong people has the capacity to forgive.

NASAKITAN KAYA JOKEMS! i was hurt. maybe yes, but it was with your consent. right? have we ever thought of the reality that God is always just? it could be that we were hurt but who are we to blame others for things that we've also done? haven't we hurt anyone? how many times have we asked forgiveness to those whom we have offended?

CHUDEZ MAN JUD MALIMTAN! its difficult to forget. maybe yes, but its just a thought. right? and thoughts can be changed.

SEE? it's very simple. for me, i have no right to be resentful because i am an offender myself. if there's a person who made me so angry, i should have understood on the first place. anger could just be a reaction to some unfavorable experience but it should not be a pathway towards ill will and condemnation. its a sin!

there is no benefit in holding a 'burning coal' in our own sinful hands, not a bit! come to think of it. call it quits right now. its the only way and the best way to take revenge to those whom we called 'enemies'.

so i say to those whom i have offended, to those who have my 'fan club' in their minds, and to those who see me as ugly, grumpy, and WTF animal : take a complete revenge on me. NOW NA!

mY hUsbaNd's miStreSs...

LISA MARIE DEL ROSARIO, 25 years old, HRM graduate, working in Singapore for six years, went home in General Santos City for a vacation. She has a long wavy hair, 5’5” in height, and a vital statistics of 34-25- 36. And so, their story goes..

Lisa got Renan’s number from a common friend. She had seen him twice and is willing to be his friend. Lisa is a liberated woman and has an Indian fiancé left in Singapore. She works in three hotels as a front desk supervisor. Living independently and temporarily staying with her Uncle’s family in GenSan, she’s afraid of commitment for having a sister in Dubai who is separated. The Hi’s and Hello’s started it all. Singapore and jobs in Singapore sustained their communication. Then as time passed, the commitment as text mates was established. From text mates to friends, they shared insights about family, their likes and dislikes, their weaknesses and experiences too (family, work, travels, love life).

Eventually, texting became less challenging and expensive so they both agreed to chat. Closeness became very evident. They became intimate friends endlessly sharing ‘anything’ under the sun. Too much familiarity is indeed boring. Cutting the story short, Lisa started it all. Fascinated with her, he also became interested. Loneliness yearns for comfort and for passion. And since they were both lonely (maybe), they found each other. They shared ‘everything’ (as in everything!) using the technology available; in bed, in the bathroom, and wherever their sinful imaginations could reach. Often, the last question both of them ask each other is: ‘HAPPY?’, with a big yes as an answer of course! Passionately, Lisa would always assure him that she would do everything to make him hers, exclusively hers alone. Because of that enduring happiness, the plan to meet personally was set aside.

One time, Lisa dared to call and listened to his moans and etc. Lisa couldn’t help it. The emotions were overwhelming (killing her!). It felt ecstatic yet burns like hell! It was fathomless. Uncovering the mouth piece, she asked softly: Happy? Finally, for the first time he heard her voice over the phone, a very familiar voice. He was suddenly offline. Lisa cried.


It was a few minutes before my 36th birthday. We were chatting earlier until he told me to rest and get ready for my big day, ending our conversation with “I love you and I miss you”. My birthday was welcomed with tears: tears of joy because of my thoughtful room mates who surprised me at exactly 12:01 am and tears of jealousy brought by the ‘joke’ (if i may call it) I started. Call me a fool or crazy as I may seem to be and ask me if I am happy and my answer would still be: yes.

I called Renan. He was speechless. I asked him, “won’t you greet me on my big day?”. With tears in my eyes and a wavering voice, I told him how much I love him and I will do everything to make him mine, ONLY MINE. He couldn’t believe it. I accepted his apology. I apologized too. We talked and renewed our promises till dawn. That’s how we love each other. After all, he fell in love and in lust with the same woman.

lmdelrosario85@yahoo.com? yes Darling, IT WAS ME! ...your wife and at the same time, your mistress!

tHe jOyz & aGonY of tRavELiNg..

thirteen to fourteen long hours of travel is not a joke! swollen legs, backaches, dehydration, headaches, thirst, hunger, sleeplessness or sleepiness (whatever it may be)...

BUT

no room for BOREDOM or tedious dullness!


my body may be surrendering but my heart and brain, NEVER! when i travel, i pray a lot.. although i often sleep on it, i manage to continue despite of the bumps, twists, and fall i always endure.



after each travel, i realize that it was too short for my conversation with HIM. i pray for those i hate - those who offended me intentionally or not. i pray for those who hate me - those i have hurt consciously or unconsciously. i pray for those who care for me - those who told me so that they do and those who did not. i pray for those i cared for - those whom i showed my love and concern and those i forgot to assure. i pray for myself - the 'as if' righteous ME yet full of flaws, the prayerful ME yet weak against temptations, the intelligent ME yet outwitted by the most stupid satan's advocate, the sensitive ME yet unmoved most often by the priest's homily, the talented ME yet busy doing unnecessary things, and the most sinful ME yet always ready to repent, always..




i believe HE doesn't count my prayers and how much time did I spend serving Him and His community. HE LOVES ME FOR WHAT I AM. my prayers were heard. some may not yet be answered but i am waiting because HE KNOWS BEST.


AMEN!? no, not amen yet.. for my prayers were always offered with a warm regards, hugs, and kisses for the first man in my life, my PAPANG. amen? yes, I do believe.. AMEN!

complement or compliment?

Our life could be the only Bible other people read. This is one BIG reason that we must radiate positive vibes and exemplify virtuous actions. Simply faith (not simple faith) makes a person strong against any temptation that may come along the way. At times, we are caught in a predicament where quitting is not an option. Life itself and the way of living it, is always a choice and no matter how we strive towards sainthood, we sometimes slip or fall. The countless unguarded moments prove our human tendency towards sinfulness.

Talking about being pampered, I’ve already had my fill. Being an only child, I was used to being the star and the center of attention of my parents. Now, here comes the next chapter of my life. I believe God gave me Renan as a companion who would complement the puzzle of emotions I have had. When it comes to thoughtfulness, in a range of 1-10, I guess his is only 3. I love surprises but it’s not in his vocabulary. I love gifts but it is not in his priority list. Nevertheless, I have learned to embrace that imperfection, having been convinced that I must love the person I found.

This is what I must do...So, help me God.

tHoUgHtz fRoM nOwHerE... in short, maLiNg aKaLa :))

Nothing compares to you coz you make me feel so special. You always start and end your day remembering me. No one has ever made me feel this way before. I have died several times but you kept me alive with your love and concern. Thank you for being so thoughtful and caring.

Nobody is perfect in this world but for me, you are almost close to perfection. You always complement the flaws I had within me. Sometimes, I also see myself in you and it made me understand myself more. You always bring out the best in me. Thank you for teaching me to believe in myself and to trust in God all the time.

My life would never have been complete without knowing you. You’re indeed a blessing to me and I am so thankful you came into my life. I may have been defeated by destiny but because I am inspired by you, I am still ready to face life’s challenges knowing you’re always beside me.

mY fiRst and laSt miStaKe..

I love you. Just let me love you.

Don’t ask me why for I can’t give you exact reasons. I myself don’t even know why. Why you?

Don’t ask me how because I can not explain. I just realized it without any warning or symptoms.

Don’t ask me when because everything happened spontaneously. I was falling. I just simply fell.

Don’t ask me where because we’ve been to different places together and those places will never be forgotten because of you.

I tried so hard to resist and divert my feelings for you but I always loose the battle. The moments I had with you were both a pleasure and an agony. A pleasure because the feeling was great and my energy is always at the maximum and an agony because I was so guilty because I am married. It is a challenge for me to keep myself sane despite of your heart-pounding gestures. If you only knew that every little thing you say, you give and you do means a lot to me.

I am now caught in a limbo and I blame no one but you! Why you? Suppressing my feelings was no good. Let the heavens punish me for I am still loving you despite of the negative illusions I invented just to discourage me and ‘unlove’ you. I’m in a dilemma right now. If you only knew but I choose not to let you know because I am contented with the way things are: you, loving me as a friend and me, wishing you love me more.

I have no regrets because I believe all things will fall into right places someday. Perhaps God has a purpose.

I am so vulnerable. You are so indispensable.

I love you. Just let me love you.

I do hope that someday I will be able to forget the feelings I have for you so that when we meet again, I can look straight into your eyes and say, “I’m so glad we’re friends”.

tO hEavEN wiTh LoVE...

papang.. popsy.. the first man in my life..

how i missed you! a short gaze at your picture makes me cry. i miss your laughter and your voice when you sing.

i fixed the keyboard's adaptor and it's okay now. i hope you heard me sing and play your favorite songs - moonriver, ikaw, i'll always love you, and song for anna. i thought i forgot the musical pieces we once played but my fingers still ran through the keys smoothly. i still play the guitar but it hurts my fingers already.

i'm wondering what keeps you busy up there now. i know the heavenly bodies are taking care of you and you're not in pain anymore. we're happy for you at least. i know you missed us too, especially momsy. do not worry. we'll take care of her.

i miss the way you call me 'pangga' and i missed the way you loved and took care of me. i missed your menu in the kitchen too. its only your cigarette that i don't miss. i still read a lot of books and you know, i always find time to sing now and i often get a score of 100. you're right. i really have a nice voice, hehehe.

though you've changed residence, i could still feel your presence. please continue to watch over us. we still have a lot of polishings to undergo. the world is a little bit sick now and there are lots of calamities anywhere. see? you are luckier. i didn't mean we wanna follow you soon ha. HE's in charge of everything and let His will be done.

see you in my dreams papang. enjoy recalling the good memories with us. we love you so much and we always will.

your one and only,
palanggingging


PS. i seldom drink coffee now but ice cream is still my favorite...

a reason to live

2009: everybody's dying! my grandmother, my father, my nephew, my grandfather, one of my friends from high school, three from my neighborhood...and i was grieving. my heart breaks thinking of that big loss.

life has to go on..i've known and heard this adage many times but the question is: HOW?

i never yearned to become rich until the time when my beloved father died from renal failure. it was then that i realized that only the rich people have the right to become sick. i felt so small thinking that cadavers can't be checked out without paying the hospital in full or least, have a guarantor to stand before the claimants. i was bursting in tears seeing my father's body wrapped in white cloth, waiting to be picked up by the time i could find a way... i didn't know how. i am an only child and our relatives are miles away from where we live. it pains me seeing my mother crying on her knees not knowing what to do. i have never felt that agony before and i hated it so much.

i promised myself to be strong. sympathies from friends are helpful but the drive to stay and look calm must come from within me. God has been always with us and prayer was my only weapon. 2009 was a year worth reflecting but i'm not sure if its worth remembering..

right now, i'm pushing my whole being to move on! slow as it might be but i'm hopeful.. this is LIFE! this is a gift- *supposed to be* a priceless opportunity and it must be ended beautifully in His time.

i have countless reasons to live: my mother, my husband, my kids, my friends, my job, my students, the lessons in life that i need to learn, the experiences that i deserve to undergo, and the endless blessings that is yet to come.

i now have a clearer picture of the things that really matters to me.. outlooks will be changed, directions will be detoured, plans will be redirected.. but still, let His will be done.

time heals and as long as there are stars in the skies, there will always be faith, hope and love in my heart.