mY fiRst and laSt miStaKe..

I love you. Just let me love you.

Don’t ask me why for I can’t give you exact reasons. I myself don’t even know why. Why you?

Don’t ask me how because I can not explain. I just realized it without any warning or symptoms.

Don’t ask me when because everything happened spontaneously. I was falling. I just simply fell.

Don’t ask me where because we’ve been to different places together and those places will never be forgotten because of you.

I tried so hard to resist and divert my feelings for you but I always loose the battle. The moments I had with you were both a pleasure and an agony. A pleasure because the feeling was great and my energy is always at the maximum and an agony because I was so guilty because I am married. It is a challenge for me to keep myself sane despite of your heart-pounding gestures. If you only knew that every little thing you say, you give and you do means a lot to me.

I am now caught in a limbo and I blame no one but you! Why you? Suppressing my feelings was no good. Let the heavens punish me for I am still loving you despite of the negative illusions I invented just to discourage me and ‘unlove’ you. I’m in a dilemma right now. If you only knew but I choose not to let you know because I am contented with the way things are: you, loving me as a friend and me, wishing you love me more.

I have no regrets because I believe all things will fall into right places someday. Perhaps God has a purpose.

I am so vulnerable. You are so indispensable.

I love you. Just let me love you.

I do hope that someday I will be able to forget the feelings I have for you so that when we meet again, I can look straight into your eyes and say, “I’m so glad we’re friends”.